Favorite Cartoons and the Odd obsession with Sociopaths in Western Media

 My one of favorite cartoons right now is Rick and Morty. I've watched the forty episodes the world has been blessed with over and over again. I like to listen to it in the background while I do homework. I love the crazy antics Rick pulls Morty and the rest of the family through. The other day I was explaining to my sister why I liked the show so much. She interrupted my explanation and said simply "Ya its not for me. I don't like watching shows that glorify shitty people". 

I laughed out at this because my sister watched all the episodes of "You" a Netflix series literally glorifying a murderous, manipulative, "shitty" person. My sister defended herself by saying that she watched the show because she was bored and then she got hooked. But my dear sister is overlooking the fact that to get hooked, you have to take the bait, you have to like the taste of the wriggly slimly worm. 

I didn't watch "You" because Joe very quickly reminded me of a super toxic ex I had. But I am just as bad as my sister because like the majority of western society, I am often enchanted by the relatable sociopaths that riddle our entertainment. I loved Dexter, I thought Walter White was so cool, and House was my to go watch on the weekend. 

Its not until you experience these people in real life that you really  become aware of how disgustingly horrible they are. House is arguably the lesser of the evils in the list mentioned above, until you start going to doctors appointment after doctors appointment with your mom and you're confronted with the same narcistic, apathetic and demeaning personalities in the people that have been entrusted with the literal well being of the human race (not saying all doctors are sociopaths, but a lot of them sure don't see people as people).

The truth is there is a reason why sociopathy is considered a personality disorder. They hurt people. They hurt themselves. And they don't care. But I guess they sure are entertaining to watch. I'm definitely not going to stop watching Rick and Morty, after all I kinda like what all these shows about anti-heroes have to say about morality and the human ego. 

But maybe my sister is right and we shouldn't glorify these people. After all how come so many of them get their own shows, while the even greater stories of marginalized people being ignored? What are your opinions on our societies obsession with "shitty" people?

Artwork

Around yesterday at 7PM I took a 30 min nap. Today around 1:30PM I woke up from said nap. It was a really needed sleep but I think overslept by wayyyyy too much. I woke up with a head ache and a begrudging guilt. Oh well. 

Here are some pictures of my artwork and a brief explanation. 

This was a commission for a friend but to be honest I wasn't fully satisfied with it. I should have added roses or stars on either sides of the skull. 

I do most of my drawings in my sketchbook, I'm proud of the book as a whole but I think some of the drawings fall short as solo pieces but I like this one. 

Don't forget!

Painted this for my cousin's 15th birthday party, she boxes.  

This was an assignment in my Art 101 class on contrast, I went back after the semester was over and made it more my own.

You guys can check out my art page on IG: @que_linduras I haven't posted in forever but feel free to check it out. 

Craving the sweet things in life

 I've been really caving ice cream. When I was little my dad would bring us Andersen's brand ice cream cherry flavor. They don't make that flavor anymore though. It tasted like Ben & Jerry's Cherry Garcia but with out the chocolate chucks. I really like pistachio ice cream too, and coffee!

What are you guy's favorite flavors? Any fond memories of ice cream? 

New Recipe Thanks to Tuka !

 Today I decided to make the spring roll recipe Tuka shared with us in her blog post! Thank you so much for the inspiration!! I switched them up and put shrimp instead of chicken and a lit of jalapeno. They were delicious!! Next time I am going to put thin slices of cucumber and avocado and add lime juice  to the peanut sauce! Honestly me and my boyfriend had so much fun making them and we came up with so many ideas on how we could do different versions

 

The delicious srpring rolls!

I made a couple spam musubi too! 

There goes another sunset

I ended this semester with my other classes officially. I ended up with a C+ in ECON 261, B+ in ECON 103 and a B in MGT. I guess I didn't do that bad after all but I feel so drained and tired from being in a mental panic zone for what feels like so long. Last night I didn't sleep until 3AM because I was finishing the last bits of a Business Plan for my MGT class. I'd started working on it the 8th but for no reason other than poor time management and anxiety I put it off and so I was struggling to finish it. But finally I did it. Then I overslept only to wake up to my mom doing yard work first thing in the morning. She's just barely getting better from COVID and she's already trying to do too much. Sometimes it feels like she's trying to take on the world when she gets like that. But I have no choice than to get up and help her because there's no way I can let her do yard work by herself yet. After we were done I made her breakfast/lunch and helped her with a couple of phone calls to doctors and things for my dads work. Next thing I know its well into the after noon and I haven't even changed from pjs and I remember that I left cloths in the dryer so there I am doing a bit of  laundry and maybe just the dishes and then I think well the kitchen needs a little sweeping. Then next thing I know dinner time is just 2 hours till I have to figure our dinner. Usually I would've sat down straight away and worked on one of the thousands of things I have to get done but today I just sat at there and breathed and drew. Next thing I know I hear my mom shuffle her feet in the kitchen, the sound of a scary crime scene video chiming in between the sounds of her trying to help me out with chores. I make dinner for us taking the time to talk to her and listen to all her stories because I know she needs it, but inside I feel anxious and guilty over the work that awaits me on the desk. I do couple of more favors for her and next thing I know the day is over. I help her into bed and head over to my room. I know how perilous it is I finish my work, I know but I am also so exhausted. Like emotionally and physically, and today felt like one of those days that no matter how many breaks you give yourself or do things to distract you from it you still feel it. Ugh but its technically over now and that's the good news. I breathed another day. I am going to stay up and finish as much work as I can until I get sleepy. And tomorrow hopefully I can finish my whole Roadmap! Better said I will finish my whole roadmap. Then I will take a huge nap. Or maybe breath some fresh air. One or the other. 

Also here is a picture of mine just to make things less draby and boring. 

CCDLV Festival 2017? I am in the front with the cap. I recruited all the volunteers in the red shirts. Over 100 volunteers where there that day! I was so proud. I love being a part of the festival.

Thinking about the Unstoppable March of Time

 It feels like just yesterday I was holding my niece as a newborn. I remember staring into her face and wondering who she would turn out to be, what parts of her I would get to keep forever and what parts would fade away. One of the craziest parts of life is realizing that time doesn't just keep going forever with no regard for you, it also changes you. You think your face, your features, are yours but they're not, they answer to time. The faces of your loved ones will change so much so that tomorrow the faces you will know without a doubt would be strangers to you today. My niece was born with dark brown wisps of hair and beautiful grey blue eyes and before my own eyes her hair turned blonde and her eyes green. I didn't see the change happen until it was right there in front of me jarring in juxtaposition to the past. I can't to see how my own face will change with time... 

Slideshow Presentation and Catching Up the Rest of the Way

Today I did the slideshow presentation while everyone else was pretty much finishing up their course work. Its honestly been really stressful to try to finish up all my classes. I had to play catch up until the last moment. Thankfully Prof. Wu is working with me to grant me to a semester extension and if I manage to catch up I will be finishing the course work around Christmas time. I hopefully will still graduate this semester. 

I know that most of my classmates are now finished with the course and might not see any other posts I make so good luck to everyone on their future endeavors!! It was great getting to know you guys through this blog. I especially enjoyed seeing how you guys triumphed over your struggles, thank you for sharing those moments with the class. I hope you all continue with your education and you succeed at whatever you set your sights on. 

Lost Stolen Art

The other day me and my boyfriend were discussing the fresco paintings of the Romans and he mentioned something along the lines of "I wish we had indigenous paintings and arts like that." That launched a discussion about how heart breaking it is that the majority of the masterpieces of our ancestors had been destroyed and their descendants are taught in school to idolize the work of their oppressors. 

Aztec artisans were master metal workers, but we wouldn't know that based on surviving works. That's because colonizers stole the intricate and masterful statues of gods and heroes of our people to parade them shortly in Europe before melting them down for currency. You want to know how Spain funded those expeditions to the Americas? That's how, through stolen gold and sliver, literally building war ships and weapons off the flesh of indigenous gods. The scrolls and books containing the story and culture of an empire, slashed and burned. Stone temples taken apart brick by brick. The only ones spared where the ones already forgotten and abandoned. I love how they don't tell you that in history books, they just raise their hands and say "oh how mysterious the ways of the Aztecs". 

They label civilizations lost when they're the ones that took them. We can see still parts of them in museums, pieces of heart and soul stolen from the body, sitting in the white man's menagerie of conquest.  

In Lieu of the Melodramatics

 I realize I’ve just been posting real heavy and intense content, which I mean is like pretty reflective of my life. But I think I’ll share some sweet moments today. 

All time favorite photo: I designed this art exhibit/demonstration for the Cesar Chavez Day Festival and my mom was so proud. I miss organizing projects like this, soon I'll be back at it though!

I am only 22 but I'm a tia to 4 rambunctious little monkies! They are the light of my life!! The baby is Luciana, who I named, she's super silly and dramatic.

One of the last pictures of my Precious, her and my boyfriend got along like lifelong friends. It used to be our thing to hang out and make art together, now its a little lonelier but a lot less messier without paw prints everywhere. 

My mom and my dad have been together for 34 years! You can see how much my mom adores him. They grew up in the same little town, my dad was a tough troublemaker and my mom a bookworm. He had a crush on her his whole life. 

Similarly my boyfriend has known me since I was 17, but I made him wait five years to actually ask me out. LOL.

He says it was worth it though. 

This was my oldest sister's gift for my birthday this year! Haha jk but this is baby Lauren born 5 days after my birthday! I hate to be biased but she's turning out to be the smartest baby I've ever met, she was already walking at 10 months! And her eyes, I swear she has this look, it feels like she already knows you. Idk if you get what I mean but believe me this is one special baby.

My other sister is pursuing a career in photography (while being a full time mom and student!! I'm so proud of her.) she likes to use me as her model and this is my favorite session. 

Blood Meridian By Cormac McCarthy

Today I want to talk about a book I absolutely love, Blood Meridian. Its a magnificently complex and exquisitely well written master piece. I read it in my Eng 223 class which focused on "Satan as a Literary Figure" (I'm catholic btw). The language the author uses transports you directly to the desolated brutality of  the Old West with a lyricism that's so beautiful, so alienating, that the violence of those times feels freshly exposed. The book explores the depths of humanity and the evils within mans reckless tirades. Its a hard read. Not just because its complex but because it can be emotionally draining. 

It follows a character known as the kid, (we never get to know his name) as he aimlessly transverses the old west, walking among government hired murders, devils walking among men. I don't want to give up too much because the story is a twist and turn of expectations and its really about what you make of it.

One of the quotes that stuck with me the most is the following:

“Whatever exists, he said. Whatever in creation exists without my knowledge exists without my consent.

He looked about at the dark forest in which they were bivouacked. He nodded toward the specimens he'd collected. These anonymous creatures, he said, may seem little or nothing in the world. Yet the smallest crumb can devour us. Any smallest thing beneath yon rock with out of men's knowing. Only nature can enslave man and only when the existence of each last entity is routed out and made to stand naked before him will he be properly suzerain of the earth.”

 

I thought about that quote alot while I was sick. Any crumb. We reach for stars and artificial voids, with out even turning over the wobbly rocks we stand on. 

 Another reason I loved the book is because it mentions my hometown, briefly and swiftly, in a list of all the places the kid passes through, but it was a surprise and gave me a shocking perspective of the role places like my little alcove played in history. I grew up hearing of the atrocities committed in those quiet deserts and I never quite got it. Anyways its an amazing read! I lovveeee it. But maybe read it while listening to the audio book (its on YouTube for free if I remember right), I did that the second time around and I wished I'd done it in the first place.

A long day and ponderings about genetic abnormalities

Today was a really long and exhausting day. I had two finals, my mom had a doctors appointment, my dad is in town and was being especially picky with his food and I had barely gotten any sleep. Fortunately the day whined down pleasantly, I got a 95 on one of my exams, my moms appointment went well, and my dad enjoyed the home made chicken wings and fries he requested (I enjoyed them too). I am hoping to get some good sleep tonight and tomorrow get to work making up more assignments. 

Had you guys heard about Klinefelter syndrome? Its a genetic condition where males are born with an extra X chromosome, resulting in XXY. It can't be inherited and isn't known to be caused by any specific reason, its simply a random genetic error. This variance in genetic code has many effects on the lives of those who have it. There are many other conditions just like it where people have extra X or Y chromosomes. It really makes think about how many little variances of normal there are with in our species. Do you think we'd even notice these variances if we didn't have the technology we do now?    Genetic variances can often adversely affect an individuals life, but many times they go unnoticed, silently shaping our lives and on a grander scale even the direction of our species. Of course many variances are caused by environmental factors, such as pollution, others by specification needed to survive, but some really are random, makes me wonder what traits we currently have as a species that just by luck happened to stick. Just some food for thought. 

COVID-19 sucks really hard

TW: Sickness. I'm sure you guys have noticed that I was gone for the last 2 months. Unfortunately I contracted COVID and to make matters worse my mom did too. My mom has several underlying health issues and so her symptoms were very severe. For the most part we went through the illness alone, my older sister left us meals outside the door and my other sister would facetime us everyday trying to cheer us up with cute videos of her babies. But the real life saver was my boyfriend who after my initially mild symptoms got worse literally risked everything to come stay with me and help me. For some miraculous reason he remained asymtomatic and was able to take care of us until I finally regained my strength. I have experienced many trials as my moms caregiver, my whole life I have been there to help her through anything and everything. In the beginning of the year I thought we had made it throught the toughest challenge when she recovered from the latestest of a lifetime of surgeries, this one fusing two more vertibrates to the seven that are already caged in. Later in May of this same year two of her medications clashed and she had a siezure right in front me, at the time it was the scariest moment of my life. But this time around, this really topped all of it. Night after night while I watched her get worse, I would measure her temperature and oxygen levels every two hours, watching it rise and fall and praying that it one wouldn't get to high and the other too low. I didn't know what I was doing, and I didn't know who to call. I left my own symptoms unchecked, forgetting to take medicine untill I was drenched in sweat and dreaming sitting up. I really didn't know if my mom would make it and every moment I felt racked with guilt over not knowing how to do things better. But I didn't want to go to hospital and ultimately and I'm glad I didn't because frankly I have little faith in the healthcare system and I knew that being as overwhelmed as they are currently I couldn't garentee I'd see my mom again. Its tough enough for her to be listened to and properly cared for in a healthcare system who constantly overlooks her symptoms, makes simple and unnessecary mistakes, and is disgustingly and blatantly apathetic, while she's in good health. I didn't want her to go through that by herself yet again. For those out there that don't think this is real. COVID is very real. It is not just a flu. It is not some over reaction. You might be fine, you might not show symptoms it might not be that bad for a while but for those that you love that do get hit hard, it is a fight with death. And I know my mom is lucky to have me but think of those grandparents that will have to fight literally by themselves in a hospital room. But we made it through, and now it almost feels like a distant nightmare. Currently my biggest trouble is anxiously waiting as my boyfriend makes plans to ask my dad for my hand and trying to finish all my missing and backed up assignments so I can finally not worry about school... at least until I go back yet again this comming summer for my bachelors.